“You are a complete and utter illegitimate!”

Big words from a big personality:


DJJ, you are a complete and utter illegitimate!

I downloaded 'Exile' from YouTube on the 18th of this month and became addicted.

I've joined the legion [the same day] and have already listened to 'The Apprentice'.

Today I listened to and finished 'The Forbidden Forrest' and am ¾ of the way through 'Last Alliance'.

You are such an AOIDOI [if your Ancient Greek isn't up to it – look it up. Everyone should know who they are].

All through this process I've been forced by whatever hex you've placed upon me to read your bloody emails as well!

Are you totally without mercy????? FFS I'm 67 years old!

I've now decided it is not fair to suffer this fate alone, and the young shit within me [he says with an evil grin] will now begin the process of inflicting others with this madness you, you, you ….. To quote that other bard: "Thou wast created on a bad day, for thou art bastard begot, bastard instructed, bastard in mind, bastard in valour – in everything illegitimate."

Being of a religious bent I have no other course of action but to pray to the Gods that you do not die before finishing this work [if it can be called that] and that when it is finished they bring you into their presence and treat you as you truly deserve!

Now, 'I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!'

Thank-you

Cheers.


When anyone asks me what my drink of choice is, it's emails like this.

Thank you, Adrian — our denizen here at the Legion — for kindly allowing me to share his name and reply.

In case you're scrambling to Google what "aoidoi" means, it's an ancient Greek word for traditional bards, singer-poets, or oral epic performers who composed and sang stories of heroes and gods.

What can I say?

I wasn't smoking the devil's lettuce when I said this fantasy series is creating addicts. I suspect it won't be long before the FBI slaps handcuffs on me for dispensing such an illicit drug.

Until that fateful day…

If you'd like to listen to the complete, ad-free audiobook version of The Divided Region, you can purchase the bundle (that comes with two other goodies) here:

https://djjwatsonstore.com/products/tdr-bundle-audio

DJJW

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