Lady Laura and I have just got back from a week-long break away to a holiday park we frequent 2-3 times per year.
It’s nothing fancy, but it offers all of the peace, quiet, and activities a young family needs.
And let me tell you…
It was nothing short of hell this time.
You see, before we set off on our little adventure, Master Liam had been on antibiotics for a mild ear infection, and from the very first dose, we knew we were in trouble. Without getting into graphic detail, let’s just say the medicine came out faster than it went in.
We were told by the doctors this wasn’t abnormal and to continue the 5-day course.
Well, on Day 1 of our break (day three of the antibiotics), Liam didn’t stop crapping.
I’m talking every 15 minutes.
No exaggeration.
Laura looked at me as I tied the hundredth nappy bag and, without consultation, said that we were discontinuing the course with immediate effect. I didn’t disagree. The poor boy’s arse was redder than Mars, his tears could have turned Vegas into a tropical utopia, and his nighttime sleep?
I don’t even want to discuss that.
It’s still too raw.
So we dropped the antibiotics, and the next day it seemed to work. Liam appeared happier as did his bowels. We even got carried away into thinking it might bring an end to the night of horrors we had endured.
“Fools,” I hear Gandalf say. 🧙♀️
And he would be served right.
His gut issues might have withered away, but his sleeping took an awful turn.
So much so that on the last night, Laura and I had to take 2-hour shifts otherwise we’d be swerving into oncoming lanes of traffic on the return drive home. To make matters worse, something odd started to happen.
I became more and more… forgetful.
For example:
In the early hours of one night, I tried feeding Liam his bottle with the lid on. He eventually screamed and woke up for an hour. 😞
The day of our departure was also a hot mess.
When I went to hand in the keys to our lodge, I couldn’t find them on my person despite knowing they were on me. So I sped back to our cabin, and as predicted, they weren’t there.
A quick pat on my rear jean pocket, followed by a soft jingle, confirmed my fears:
I was losing my mind.
All of this to say:
If you're a new parent trudging through the trenches, I feel you.
If you're a veteran parent who went through said trenches, I commend you.
And if you have yet to be a parent? Stay far away.
Your hairline, wrinkles, and sanity will thank you for it.
(If you failed to detect the sarcasm, then that’s on you.)
It's hell weeks like this where I almost exclusively listen to books, articles, and even emails as opposed to reading them. Thankfully, apps like ElevenReader and their growing suite of AI voices make this an easy and enjoyable experience.
Sadly, the same could not be said for Siri in the Before Times.
But ElevenLabs?
It’s the Rolls Royce of virtual voice.
And as more and more professional narrators flock to the platform to collect royalties for their “cloned” voices, this will only get better and more indistinguishable from human narration.
It’s why I am now — alongside the edits of Book #5 — using their tech to narrate all of my books line by line, starting with The Divided Region.
As I mentioned a couple of weeks back, all patrons who purchase my current stock of digitally narrated audiobooks will get the new (and vastly improved) narration free of charge.
For everyone else?
You’ll have to fork over the extra coin to acquire them.
Unless, that is, you grab them before I take down all audiobooks from my Storehouse by next Friday at 23:59 EST (more on this in the coming days).
To grab them before the deadline, go here:
https://djjwatsonstore.com/audiobooks
DJJW