Most of you loveable scoundrels regrettably found me through social media.
You might have clicked one of my ads…
Watched one of my many ridiculous (and occasionally provocative) reels…
Tweets…
Or YouTube videos.
Whatever the case, social media — as much as I deplore it for reasons I won’t get into — has been an important player when it comes to recruiting fresh blood into the Legion. Alas, after a brief spell away, I’m back at it again.
I saw a post earlier in the week by a photographer with the following hook:
“My photography 10 years ago vs now”
It, of course, walked us through the amateur-hour shots he took a decade ago versus now, which had come on leaps and bounds.
I figured why not swap out “photography” for writing, and I might just have the ingredients for a good reel. Obviously, I couldn’t do it without my trademark wit and dry humour, so I figured I would do something of an “inversion.”
Instead of showing crap prose to begin with, I would show decent writing.
Then, when the “vs now” part comes up, I would show short, blunt, and crude prose.
Here’s what I’ve got so far:
[My writing 10 years ago…]
“The way she looked at me had my heart crashing against my ribcage. My fingers twitched. My trousers came alive with a temptation not felt in months. And it was clear by her countenance that she wanted it too.”
[My writing now…]
“We shagged.”
😭
(I’m so thrilled I find myself hilarious.)
Or this one…
[My writing 10 years ago…]
The battle drums sounded from across the battlefield as the dark army gathered on the horizon. Thousands marched towards our small battalion with monsters that towered over most city walls. Dangling from their gangly limbs were weapons. Weapons and… chains?
What in the world? he thought.
Had these beasts just been released from a dungeon?
[My writing now…]
We saw them come over the hill.
"That's us fucked then," said Jangar.
Who knows whether they will land or go off with a whimper?
What I do know is that I had fun creating them, as I do with almost everything I create. I say “almost” because not everything is rosy in the fiction publishing garden. Some people have this ill-informed notion that we authors sit around all day at our desks with a cup of herbal tea and a cat to stroke, typing away until our fingertips are so calloused that some might consider us related to cave trolls.
Oh, if only such a utopia were true.
There’s marketing to do (don’t mind that)… editing to be done (which I loathe)… audiobooks to produce (which can feel like running on a treadmill sometimes)… orcs to roast (a real bloodsport of mine)… and writing these emails (which I enjoy more than a meth addict loves dental care).
There’s more, but I wouldn’t want to bore you with such details as boredom is the #1 enemy of entertainment.
And as I am firmly in the entertainment bizniz, this is one foe I must never invite into the Legion or Storehouse.
It’s one of the main reasons I refused to write long tomes when every fantasy author told me so.
Had I written longer, door-stopping novels, it would have decimated my motivation and led to a story that comatose everyone it touched.
Anyway, some say I was foolish writing a fantasy series of short novels, but going by the hundreds of Starter Bundles sold through my Storehouse alone this year, I’d say there are many more readers out there who are just as exhausted as I am by the thick tomes proliferating our genre.
Perhaps you’re one of them?
In any case, you can grab the Starter Bundle here (not available on retailers):
https://djjwatsonstore.com/products/TDR-Bundle
DJJW