I usually don't email on weekends for love, money, rain or moonshine, but given that today marks 250 years since the US of A broke free from my country, I think it warrants a response.
That response?
IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO TAKE THE KNEE & HAIL BRITANNIA.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA!
Whatever social or economic challenges may or may not be present on your shores, they can wait until tomorrow.
Today is all about celebrating the melting pot that you — the people — are and all of the collective achievements you share.
Some of the best films ever made have sprung from your studios…
Some of the greatest music ever sung still echoes around the entire world…
Some of the most life-altering technologies have leapt from your soil (quite literally in the case of aeroplanes)…
And while your sport has some way to go (soccer, really? It's FOOTBALL!), there is also that small matter of World War II, which spared large swathes of Europe from speaking German and eating bratwurst sausages.
Admittedly, I quite enjoy a bratwurst, but I also doubt you'd be reading D.J.J. Watsonzig's work had it gone the other way.
So, uh, cheers for that!
Anyway, there are plenty of us from the great beyond who grew up looking at America with starry eyes.
Myself included.
And having personally holidayed with Americans and chatted away with many more here at the Legion, I can confidently say that the world would be a quieter, less colourful place without these lively, enthusiastic, larger-than-life characters…
… Even if you insist on calling petrol "gas."
So, from the Watson household to all Legionnaires who hail from the USA, we wish you a happy and unforgettable 4th of July.
Now go and get rat-arsed (drunk in UK-speak) before I find more things to poke fun at.
See you on Monday.
DJJW
P.S. Should you wish to invite a little bit of Britannia back into your homeland, this British author's paperbacks are rumoured to look great on any bookshelf.
Here's where you can go: