While out enjoying a rare clear day here in the UK, I was struck by an interesting idea:
Why not feature one of my characters in these emails?
Then I spent the next few minutes chewing over what that would look like, what form it might take, when — just as quickly as the original idea had occurred — I had my character and a scenario to plop him into.
So with that, lords and ladies…
If Jangar were a UK resident at this time, when hate speech laws are quickly spiralling under our authoritarian regime, then the following would be his initial police interview.
POLICE: “Jangar Horne. You have been arrested for posting several inflammatory tweets that breach the Hate Speech Laws Act of 2025. How do you respond to these charges?”
JANGAR: “Eh? Hate speech laws? What are you on about, you arse?”
POLICE: “I’d like to remind you that insults will not be—”
JANGAR: “Insults? What are you… a Vlencian? The gods gave men spines and balls. Or maybe they left those out of you people in blue cloth.”
POLICE: “It’s called a uniform, Mr Horne.”
JANGAR: “I don’t give a priest’s fart what it’s called! Now tell me… what tweets am I guilty of posting? And be quick. I’ve got people to meet and places to raid.”
POLICE: “You do realise anything and everything you say can be used in a court of law, Mr Horne?”
JANGAR: “Not only are you devoid of balls and a spine, but a sense of humour, too? And I thought the gods forsook me!”
POLICE: “Mr Horne, on 14th May of this year, you posted a string of incendiary social media posts. They include:
Tweet #1: King Jefor can stroke my manhood before I’ll ever kneel to that twat.
Tweet #2—”
JANGAR: “Don’t regret it.”
POLICE: “Please, Mr Horne. No interruptions.
Tweet #2: Vlencians are softer than a virgin whore. Except tittling, of course. 😉
[JANGAR SNORTS.]
Tweet #3: If you think women belong in a kitchen, then you haven’t had the shits for five full moons. Never again.”
JANGAR: “What… It’s true. Vresha was a terrible cook.”
POLICE: “Tweet #4—”
JANGAR: “Alright, lad, I’ve got the point. What do I need to do to avoid the gallows?”
POLICE: “Mr Horne, we don’t live in a bygone era. Capital punishment was abolished in 1969.”
JANGAR SCOFFS: “Gods strike me down… they even have a name for it.”
POLICE: “I think we’ll take a short intermission. This concludes part one of our interview with Mr Jangar Horne. The time is 10:47 AM on Friday, 7th November 2025.”
JANGAR: “Good. I need to piss!”
I hope you chuckled as much reading this as I did writing it.
Jangar is one of The Divided Region’s most loved, most outspoken, and controversial characters. If you haven’t met him yet, you will find him waiting for you in Chapter 2 of Exiled:
https://djjwatsonstore.com/products/Exiled
Happy adventures.
DJJW