25 years
Today is Friday, and usually that means capping off the working week with a series of facts belonging to a theme that inspires me on the day. Only… As well as it being Fun Fact Friday, today marks the 25th anniversary of 9/11. Call me soft cheese on hot toast, but given the weight of […]
It was a massacre, I tell you!
Last Monday, I announced my quarterly purge, and today I can reveal to you the body count. And let me tell you… IT WAS A MASSACRE. I'm starting to think these culls should come with a trigger warning, given just how many heads end up rolling down the hill. Anywho, of the 65 […]
Why I’ve been ignoring some of you
A couple of weeks ago, I migrated my website to a new home after months of procrastination. It has allowed me to post blog posts and spread my proverbial tentacles across the vast digital plains we "oldies" call… The World Wide Web. All went well, and up until yesterday, I thought I had […]
[⏰] You have exactly 24 hours
Yesterday, I regretfully informed you that my Email Service Provider deems you inactive. I say "regretfully" because these tech platforms tend to get it wrong more than they get it right, and on this particular occasion, they’ve deemed you… COLD 🥶 If they’ve got it wrong, now’s the time to stick two fingers up […]
What inflation?
I try to get out for a walk as much as I possibly can, which — in contrast to a few short years ago, pre-fatherhood — is pretty abysmal. (Especially when I'm knee-deep in a writing project like I am now with Book Seven of The Divided Region.) Alas, when I do finally get around […]
Hello, TRAITOR
Alright, maybe ‘traitor’ is a little harsh, but I had to grab your attention some way. (Hence the all-caps, too.) The reason for this ‘dazzling spectacle’ of a subject line is that my email service provider has alerted me that they deem you… COLD 🥶 By that, you haven't supposedly opened, clicked, or engaged with […]
It’s that time of the year… again
Tomorrow I'll be contacting "Cold Subscribers" that my email service provider has flagged in my system. These are Legionnaires who have supposedly not opened or clicked any of my emails in the last several weeks. In other words… TRAITORS. (I jest… sort of.) I usually don't trust these metrics as far as I […]
There’s a ghost in the White House (really)
Well, if you look at that. The end of the week is upon us already. Admittedly, it was a short one given the Bank Holiday here in the UK, but do not mistake that as me being sad to see the weekend. I'm most certainly not. (Comes a soft pop as I open my whisky […]
The tragic tale of two brain scans
Being an avid emailer, you might suspect I am subscribed to a bunch of newsletters. And you'd be right on all counts. I follow a bunch of people across a multitude of spheres for a variety of different reasons, but one email captured my attention (and concern) the other day that I feel compelled to […]
This dad joke may divide opinions
Now, I'll admit, this joke got me. I'm not sure this email will do it justice, but to hell with it. I know there'll be at least a couple of Legionnaires here who'll appreciate it. Everyone else? BOOOOOOO! (For the record, I came across it during a dreaded doom-scroll whilst waiting for Lady Laura to […]
What do roses and aliens have in common?
They are real. Or, at least, that's what I believe. For the record, I'm talking about intelligent life (i.e., the ones with big heads, big eyes, and who like to zoom around the universe in saucers) — not microscopic worms that have turned portions of a planet into Swiss cheese. Think about it: There are […]
A funny memory that wasn’t so funny at the time
Over the weekend, I was scrolling through my photos when I was hit with this memory from last April: That’s my MacBook. Or at least, it was. And here’s the funny (yet bizarre) story that wasn’t so funny at the time, reprinted for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy: “One sec," I said to Master Liam […]
I guess I’m a cannibal
It's official: We've made it to the end of yet another week, and now the weekend is upon us. Can I get a Hallelujah? Personally, it's been a VERY productive week for yours truly. – Book 7 of The Divided Region is hurtling forward despite making some plot changes on the fly (both […]
The one thing I’d try if I weren’t a dad
First, a disclaimer: This email is by no means me advocating or glorifying the use of any illegal substance. This is merely the ramblings of a fantasy author with an incurable curiosity for the taboo. With that out of the way, let's get into it: Way back when I was a young, zit-faced adolescent, let's […]
It’s time to take your temperature
Every so often – maybe once or twice a year – I like to conduct what I call a "temperature test." It's really just a smart-sounding way of saying: Who the hell is knocking around these parts?! You see, as the Legion swells to epic proportions month by sweet month, it's impossible to keep tabs […]
“You are a complete and utter illegitimate!”
Big words from a big personality: DJJ, you are a complete and utter illegitimate! I downloaded 'Exile' from YouTube on the 18th of this month and became addicted. I've joined the legion [the same day] and have already listened to 'The Apprentice'. Today I listened to and finished 'The Forbidden Forrest' and am ¾ of […]
Old habits are like lard
I must fess up: I completely forgot to send out an email for my newly anointed pilot series, Fun Fact Friday. Instead, I wrote for my The Divided Region addicts, which was by no means a poor substitute, but it does beg the question… Is my heart and soul even in FFF? The […]
Addicts, I tell you
In response to yesterday's "reveal," where I cooled some blood pressure that Book 7 wouldn't be the end of the journey (despite it being the end of The Divided Region)… I got a few questions from people whom I can only describe as ADDICTS. (And the Lord knows how much I love 'em.) They more […]
Will The Divided Region end on Book 7?
A question I get every so often is: "Does The Divided Region conclude in Book 7?" It always struck me as a half-hearted question. On the one hand, they genuinely want to know, and on the other, you can practically hear them muttering, "PLEASE NO." For a while, the answer used to be a resounding […]
The one pun to rule them all?
Long-time readers of mine will know I've got something of a morbid fascination with crocodiles. Particularly the big, gnarly ones like the Nile and Salties. So, it doesn't take a Mark Zuckerberg to imagine what my Facebook feed looks like. And if you do, well, just know that between every written post, there's a safari […]